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Reviews and pictures of actress Carmen Serret naked in "No me toques el pito que me irrito", "Bacanales romanas", "En busca del polvo perdido", and 5 more titles.
Born: 1959 Country: Spain
Mildly curvy brunette with a varied record in 'eighties Spanish genre films. Her warm smile and wholesome features belied the relatively explicit antics of her on-screen roles.
Carmen's stills gallery
Si lo sé no vengo (Spain) (as Varios personajes)
# La desnuda chica del relax (Ignacio F. Iquino, Spain, 1981) (featuring Carmen Serret as Chica del relax aged 22) ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭
Carmen plays the older whore who initiates Andrea Albani into the delights of lesbianism in this routine Spanish cathouse trash. It's a good lesbian initiation scene as these things go, elegant and moodily lit. But spoiling the atmos a tad is a seedy gentleman with a corpse-like complexion spying on the girls from the bedroom doorway. He's really let himself go, physically and mentally. At one point he even asks for binoculars.
De niña a mujer (Carlos Aured, Spain, 1982) (as Juana aged 23)
# Inclinación sexual al desnudo (Ignacio F. Iquino, Spain, 1982) (featuring Carmen Serret as Silvia aged 23) ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭
with Concha Valero, Tessi Arno, Alejo del Peral, Víctor Guerrero, Cora Martín, Fernando del Río, Miguel Estévez, Esther Márquez, Montserrat Miralles, Pedro Fontana, Fredy Ripers and Josep Lluís Fonoll
Carmen and her slightly boyish chum Cora Martín play a pair of lesbian models in a porn video studio run by Tessi Arno and her (or is it his) assistant Concha Valero.
In the first clip we follow the making of a moody lesbian video, and it does what it says on the tin basically. The two elegantly attired girls, hair bedecked with flowers, start off with the gentlest possible game of footsie on a drawing room sofa (but feel free to imagine it as a garden swing or even a park bench if that's what turns you on). Matters quickly get quite explicit, and the pair get so carried away with each other they don't even care the camera has stopped rolling - or even that the lights have gone out.
The second clip is more down to earth, but the better for it. Cora rushes into Carmen's room where she is sitting naked toying with her kitten. She brings bad news: Carmen's vengeful husband has turned up on the doorstep and wants to see her! After a brief bit of scampering about in the nude she decides to hide under the bed. But - uh-oh! - there's only just enough room to squeeze in her bare bum! Despite all the explicitness elsewhere this is my favourite moment of the film, and just the sort of playful nonsense that ought to be a genre standard.
Una virgen para Calígula (Jaime J. Puig, Spain, 1982) (as Chica en bacanal aged 23)
# Bacanales romanas (Jaime J. Puig, Spain, 1982) (featuring Carmen Serret as Agripina aged 23) ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭
with Raquel Evans, Concha Valero, Patricia Cauzard, Joaquín Gómez, Conrado Tortosa 'Pipper', Antonio Maroño, Mirna Bel, Antonio Molino Rojo, Ajita Wilson, Julia Caballero, Eva Wagner and Olga Rodríguez
Depressingly inept Roman comedy which wastes its two gorgeous stars (that's Raquel Evans by the way under the wig). The pair have a nice girly friendship thing going on though; they're seldom out of each other's sight even when they're not slobbering all over each other on the couch. Which doesn't happen nearly as often as we have a right to expect, and when it does the affair is bungled, though Carmen does at least show a nice bum shot here.
Later the girls find themselves double-booked on bath night. Happens every Saturday, never mind, have to make the best of it. By having a nice long chat. But remember, whenever two people start a conversation, and one of them is a woman, it's impossible for them still to be exchanging useful information after two whole minutes have elapsed. When both are women, reduce that to two whole seconds. So a lot has been cut out here, losing nothing. Eventually Carmen is left alone to quietly mull over the state of things.
# Playa azul (Jaime Jesús Balcázar, Spain, 1983) (featuring Carmen Serret as Ingrid aged 24) ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭
with Dorothee Wider, Juanita Brown, Bord Theed, José Febles, Helga Liné, Joseph Randall, Antonio Molino Rojo, Jürgen Pruschanski, Steve Young, Julia Caballero, Angelino Fons and Marisa Gracia
Mature playgirl Helga Liné and young chum have arrived at the inexplicably popular Atlantic holiday island of Lanzarote (basically just a volcano) on a mission to copulate with the local fauna. I'm not quite sure how Carmen is supposed to fit into this ménage, but she pants onscreen arms windmilling to inform the ladies' chauffeur that she's missed her camel or something. Could the chappie help her out at all?
Why yes, if the lady would like to step inside this interesting lava formation maybe he could arrange a shag? 'You can have first go on top' he graciously defers, about the closest he'll ever get to being a gentleman. It was quite a private lava formation, but the posher bints track the pair down all the same, to anger and disappointment on all sides.
In the second clip Helga meets Carmen at a nightclub bar and taking her playfully by the hand leads her back to her hotel room. Will they kiss we wonder? They do better than kiss. The older woman undresses the girl (but slowly, it's not a wrestling match) and makes tender love to her on the bed. Wherever do these filmmakers get their ideas?
This (lack of) idea is reprised for the third clip, but less tastefully, and (to be frank) with a lower class of person. Carmen pushes the woman aside to take her turn on top this time; it's almost as if she's becoming more liberated and confident with her sexuality as the film goes on. Gosh.
Unfortunately that prattish curly-haired driver jumps in and spoils the atmos, but there's a sweet coda where a still-nude Carmen brings in a tray of coffee for the household's other revellers. I like how this selfless soul prioritises other people's refreshment over covering her own nakedness. Ah, maybe she's the maid, that would fit.
# En busca del polvo perdido (Enrique Guevara, Spain, 1982) (featuring Carmen Serret as Conchi aged 23) ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭
A brief scene from a dreary Spanish comedy. A young man is seeking advice about how to stop women throwing themselves at him all the time. His problem seems to lie with trying a bit too hard to please. You can see the concentration etched into his features as he takes 'nympho' Carmen's knickers down in this clip for instance, as if anxious lest a single hair should be put out of place. He needs to learn to relax, this is not a recipe for a happy life.
# Jóvenes amiguitas buscan placer (Ignacio F. Iquino, Spain, 1982) (featuring Carmen Serret as Mónica aged 23) ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭
Carmen, at her loveliest, is a bit of a wallflower in this erotic Spanish comedy. Relatively speaking at any rate; she closes the bedroom door before changing for bed for instance. Which is where we find her now, with a man in a sex offender outfit (I can't keep track of who these people are supposed to be, and anyway the glasses are perfect) peeping through the keyhole.
It's surprising how many soft erotica actresses are shy of exposing their vaginas. Carmen always jumps at the chance at showing hers, like she does here (without even seeming to betray the modesty that becomes a lady) while slipping on her pyjama bottoms one leg at a time. To get to the point, chummie is soon through the door and flinging himself into the time-honoured position of obeisance, hands pressed together at the feet of his naked goddess. He pushes his luck too far though (she was sending conflicting signals) and is booted painfully back out of the door.
Porno: Situación límite (Manuel Esteba, Spain, 1982) ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭ (as Chica de Carolina aged 23)
# No me toques el pito que me irrito (Ricard Reguant, Spain, 1983) (featuring Carmen Serret as Señorita Chichi aged 24) ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭
Carmen's story rounds off this unimaginative doctor-themed Spanish trash. It looks like we join her in a fur coat shop - the one she's wearing still has the label on it. The poor chump in charge of her is left in a quandary when she insists on showing off the sexy lingerie he must have just bought her in the Ann Summers next door. At last our man wrestles the irrepressible Carmen back into some semblance of decent clothing. A warning to anyone whose young niece insists on dragging them around the High Street this Saturday: stick to the pet shops.
More depressingly tame stuff in a similar vein follows. As you might have guessed, Carmen is not quite right in the head somehow and is seeing a 'sexologist'.
Victòria! La gran aventura d'un poble (Antoni Ribas, Spain, 1983) (as Prostituta aged 24)
# Morbus (o bon profit) (Ignasi P. Ferré, Spain, 1983) (featuring Carmen Serret as Anna aged 24) ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭
with Ramon Ferre, Joan Borràs, Víctor Israel, Sony Young, Montserrat Calvo, Mireia Tejero, Joan Antón Crespi, Irene Rives, Jordi Brossa, Ricard Picazo, Sergi Neach and Josep M. Xover
Wacky Spanish effort that is everything a horror flick should be when made by a crew short of money and originality but with plenty of style and enthusiasm.
Carmen wakes up in a strange bed after her car is ambushed in the woods by marauding zombies. Despising the only article of clothing available to her (probably had bloodstains on it or something) she goes padding naked about the house in search of physical security and emotional solace. Definitely not looking for trouble or anything.
But trouble is what she gets in the form of a torture chamber with satanic symbols on the walls and a Nosferatu/Father Jack figure sleeping on a divan. Lucky it wasn't a coffin or our heroine might have been scared. It's not until he pinches her bottom and giggles maniacally she gets scared. Fleeing the room she wanders into the presence of an Open University lecturer who is gentleman enough to tactfully point out she is still stark naked. And is only a little slow in offering to remedy the situation.
A little later Carmen has a shower scene. Which has everything a shower scene should have short of another girl getting in there with her. Soaping her hairy privates, dropping the soap, being chased out by an unseen psychopathic intruder etc. etc. She flees into the arms of Open University lecturer again, and this time, perhaps feeling the frosty barriers of formality beginning to melt a little, plonks herself still naked into his lap.
There follows a traditional fireside lovemaking session which leads us neatly into the third clip. Which is scarcely about Carmen at all, but about a slim, pretty, hairy-armpitted girl I was never going to discover the name of. It was a shame not to include her, so here she is being tied up naked and tortured interleaved with Carmen's tame lovemaking scenes.
Bear in mind this is all happening during a zombie house invasion and scenes pertaining to that have been pared down a bit. So certain things have been said and done the viewer will not be aware of, perhaps impairing the sense of the narrative. Or perhaps not, it being deliciously mental to start with. Watch out for the young male zombie who lurches in on the naked girls hugging, does his level best to apologise for mistaking his room (not easy when you've probably had your larynx ripped out), and politely shambles on. Just because you've been zombified doesn't mean you have to forget your manners.
El invernadero (Santiago Lapeira, Spain, 1983) not nude ✘ (as Elena aged 24)
Yo, 'El Vaquilla (Spain, 1985) (as Anita aged 26)
Más allá de la muerte (Sebastián D'Arbó, Spain, 1986) (aged 27)
Los perversos rostros de Víctor Israel (Spain, 2010) (as Herself aged 51)
Difuminado (Pere Koniec, Spain, 2014) (aged 55)
Crisis, ¿qué crisis (Manuel Mira, Spain, 2015) (aged 56)
Una historia de violencia (Anna Novell, Spain, 2016) (as Margaret aged 57)
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