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Reviews and pictures of actress Andrea Albani naked in "No me toques el pito que me irrito", "El hombre del pito mágico", "Las calientes orgías de una virgen", and 10 more titles.
Born: 1960 Country: Spain
At first sight an unremarkable looking girl with a small-breasted slightly dumpy figure, Andrea had a sense of fun that came over well on screen. A real girl-next-door - especially if you live on a council estate. Yes she had the authentic 'common touch', but with the right make-up she could be truly beautiful. She deserved a better career.
Andrea's stills gallery
Mr. Skin has a page for Andrea - click here for more of her pics & clips!
Un permiso para ligar (Enrique Guevara, Spain, 1980) (as Chica de la discoteca aged 20)
# Gamiani (Ismael González, Spain, 1981) (featuring Andrea Albani as Fanny aged 21) ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭
with Vicky Palma, Bernard Seray, Rocío Freixas, César Bonet, Emilio Siegrist, Lupe Barrado, Verónica Ribo, Lorna Green and Fernando Moreno
Severely toned-down adaptation of a notorious piece of nineteenth century pornography starring Andrea as delightful young Fanny - my favourite name for a girl. By coincidence Vicky Palma has my favourite name for an (ever-so-slightly) older woman - The Countess. This lady's eye is caught by Fanny at an evening gathering as she plays the piano - one of the most becoming accomplishments in a young girl I think. And I've certainly never heard a standard drawing room upright played quite as beautifully as does Fanny.
After a few smiles and pleasant words in the hallway The Countess leads the virginal Fanny upstairs to bed. They undress with a touch of awkwardness, Fanny casting her clean white knickers aside with the practised grace she learned at finishing school, belying her shy anticipation as she waits for the kissing to start. For a moment I thought it was going to turn into a wrestling match, but soon The Countess has her fingers buried comfortably between Fanny's thighs, only withdrawing them to draw them moistly across her breasts. We'll cut things there for the moment, as the same old goes on forever with nothing markedly new or exciting on show.
Much later on Fanny and The Countess are naked again having big hugs when that wickedly manipulative lady decides the two are to share a drink together, slipping into each measure a dose of something which she is not altogether honest about. Then it's back to the grind again, starting with brief oral followed by the icing on the cake: lesbian missionary. On top or not: which is best? Something us blokes will never know. Speaking of which, there's been a young chappie hiding in the cupboards spying on these two all along, something I've hesitated to mention because it reflects badly and all that. He bursts in too late, hauling The Countess's lifeless body aside to find dear Fanny alas already dead. You could have guessed something sad was going to happen when that song started playing. One of those gorgeous pieces of cheese that has spoken parts in it, and you wonder whether they might be your favourite bits...
# Perversión en el paraíso (Jaime J. Puig, Spain, 1981) (featuring Andrea Albani as Eva aged 21) ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭
with Pep Corominas, Joaquín Gómez, Bárbara Ben, Javier de la Cima and Jennifer James
Cheap and cheerful Spanish interpretation of the story of Adam and Eve. Having Andrea as the first woman is an inauspicious beginning to the human story and may confirm your suspicions about the fundamental messed-upness of all things. But I don't think this film intends itself to be taken too seriously.
Andrea is kidnapped from the Garden of Eden by a pair of very shady characters with the intention of putting her through the wringer. But our girl slowly gains the ascendancy, her innocent and playful side winning through against vice and corruption. At the end she dashes away to frolic with Adam in the Garden again, which incidentally was clearly filmed in the middle of winter, hardly the time to be splashing around naked in mountain streams (cf. Nadiuska in Desnuda inquietud ).
# Neumonía erótica y pasota (Jaime Bayarri, Spain, 1981) (featuring Andrea Albani as Amiga de Cristina aged 21) ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭
Andrea plays a bikini model in this cheap, silly, but very summery Spanish soft porn inspired by of all things The Incredible Hulk. She enjoys an uncomplicated lifestyle (unlike her friend Eva Lyberten who turns into a raging pink strong-woman at the most awkward moments), and today the most demanding task ahead of her is to be covered in whipped cream. She doesn't even have to decide what to wear - it's a nude beach. I like that rather plain small-breasted friend of hers, but don't know her name.
After the cream's all been rinsed away in the sea (the lads turned out to be poor specimens who couldn't get it all off with their tongues) Andrea seduces her young man. He'd been planning to spend the afternoon practising the pan-pipes, but learning a musical instrument is always going to be beyond this girl and evidently she doesn't see the point in it for anyone else.
Orgasmo caliente (Enrique Guevara, Spain, 1981) (as Chica nueva de Ivonne aged 21)Mr. Skin may have clips: http://www.mrskin.com/orgasmo-caliente-girls-t6634.html
# Los violadores (Paul Grau, Spain, 1981) (featuring Andrea Albani as Babsy aged 21) ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭
with Esther Studer, José Gras, Laura Premica, Peter Saunders, Brian Billings, Eric Falk, Helmi Sigg, Garry Membrini, Ana Roca, Diana Miller, Hank Sutter and Irene Semmling
Nazi biker rape gang shocker mildly redeemed by being stupid mostly on purpose. One night a commonplace gangster's moll is dragged from her boyfriend's 'car' and raped right there on the street. Andrea's main challenge as an actress is to show not so much boredom as great dismay: normally that would have been worth the girl at least a bag of chips and she'd have got to keep her skirt on.
Las alumnas de madame Olga (José Ramón Larraz, Spain, 1981) (as Alumna de la fiesta aged 21)
# La desnuda chica del relax (Ignacio F. Iquino, Spain, 1981) (featuring Andrea Albani as Gardenia aged 21) ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭
New girl Andrea bounces into the cathouse lounge in pigtails, a school uniform (I hope it's a wipe-down one), and - to complete the cliché - bubblegum to blow into the older whores' faces.
She's put to work with her first client right away and reveals a precocious amount of prior experience by climbing straight on top. But she's underestimated the savviness of this punter. Just as she's turned over onto her back for a big lazy stretch he grabs her by the hip to flip her over onto her front. Some people just don't know how to behave in a posh gaff...
Another day, another potential client. Andrea tries to bag this one by mincing in naked except for a boa, then hits him with the dreaded lap-sit. Clearly she's been practising this move on visiting uncles she particularly wants to flee the house. This guy is an inspiration however; with enough steely-eyed determination you can face these girls down.
The third clip shows a more successful day at work. Andrea enjoys not just some carefree nakedness but a dressing-up game too. So it's really possible for a girl to have it all? She's certainly learning to love this lifestyle.
La caliente niña Julietta (Ignacio F. Iquino, Spain, 1981) (as Julietta Santigosa aged 21)
# En busca del polvo perdido (Enrique Guevara, Spain, 1982) (featuring Andrea Albani as Berta aged 22) ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭
Edited highlights of a not very erotic segment from a Spanish compilation. As far as I can make out Andrea is seeing a therapist about her lack of sexual response. I can have a shot at diagnosing her problem from here: her entire social circle is a bloody disgrace. Either that or her tickle zones overlap her erogenous ones. That's a nice thought actually and I can well believe it of her. Anyway, Andrea is her usual chubby and cheery self despite the low company she's keeping.
# Jóvenes amiguitas buscan placer (Ignacio F. Iquino, Spain, 1982) (featuring Andrea Albani as Julietta aged 22) ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭
Undemanding summery comedy about three young ladies relaxing as guests at a well-appointed country villa. As you'd expect from an Iquino film the girls are beautifully made-up and photographed, and clearly having a wonderful time.
In a brief taster Andrea adds her authentic common touch as she strides though the garden bearing drinks like it was a shortcut between her council estate and the off-licence. She is evidently a genuine friend of the two posher girls though (Carmen Serret sunbathing, with Vicky Palma in the one-piece) and fully entitled to be there. But she's still looking something of the poor relation as she proceeds to apply sunscreen glancing about her with a pained are-you-two-seriously-going-to-let-me-do-this-myself expression.
You might be wondering what Vicky was doing in that plainly elegant swimsuit that would have graced a school swimming gala better than the private playground of three junior hedonists. She must have mislaid her bathing briefs, nothing more, as she soon proves herself the randiest lesbian of the bunch (a lovely girl, endearingly gawky with her plaited pony tail, she looks the sort who actually reads books - glasses would suit her perfectly).
After copious preliminary kisses Vicky downs her skimpy see-thru knicks and spreads her body naked ready for Andrea's predatory attentions. The couple are soon entangled in a writhing slitching moaning heap upon the floor. Andrea uses her 'second wind' to deliver the coup de grâce: orgasm by lesbian missionary. Enter Carmen, back from a shopping trip judging by her outfit.
- 'I do beg your pardon am I interrupting?'
- 'No no, what makes you think that?!' chorus the naked girls in unison as they scramble happily to their feet.
Una virgen para Calígula (Jaime J. Puig, Spain, 1982) (as Virguita aged 22)
# La vendedora de ropa interior (Germán Lorente, Spain, 1982) (featuring Andrea Albani as Rosa aged 22) ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭
with Florinda Chico, María José Nieto, José Sazatornil, Ramoncín, Julián Navarro, Antonio Ozores, Quique Camoiras, Antonio Garisa, Alfonso del Real, Alfred Lucchetti, Rafael Hernández and María Salerno
A short-lived step up in Andrea's career as she features in a comedy of no more than the ordinary degree of vulgarity. She plays a cheeky housemaid (what else?) to a family with a mistaken belief in its own respectability. A charming girl, always up for slap and tickle, she'll shoot you a stern warning glance when you overstep the mark. She can be stubborn about doing things her own way though, like insisting on sewing on trouser buttons while the owner is still in them for instance, which is where we join her.
Andrea's humble bedroom naturally becomes a mecca for the household's pathetically lecherous triumvirate. One evening, perhaps wishing to finally clear the air, or just make a little spending money, she organises a striptease there. All rather tastefully done, but I don't think she got the order quite right.
# Al sur del edén (Ismael González, Spain, 1982) (featuring Andrea Albani as Cristina aged 22) ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭
Dull Spanish soft porn about three girls whose paths cross on summer holidays.
The first thing Andrea does when arriving at her hotel suite (after fiddling with the ornaments to check they're up to the required standard, though that's not in the clip) is to look out of the window to check it has the sea view promised in the brochure. 'What must be done may as well be done first as last' she muses to herself. Andrea is not what I'd call a clever girl, but is capable of showing a certain robust common sense in pursuit of her own interests. Then she takes off all her clothes and masturbates in the bath for a minute or two while looking rather bored with the idea.
Feeling that if she's to enjoy her holiday she must get out and about Andrea pesters her way into a trip on a fishing boat with two local brothers. While swimming she manages to lose her costume, likewise the first of the young men. Rather than sit naked a little shyly on the rocks till it's time to go home Andrea, by a sequence of hand-holdings and subtle manipulations resembling a patient getting into position for her smear test on the doctor's couch, induces the fellow to copulate with her. Not the worst day a girl ever spent by a long chalk, but lacking in the true spirit of holiday romance I thought.
Much the same happens a few days later, either with the same brother or the other brother, I couldn't say. After warming up with one of those fun lets-see-who's-the-taller-in-their-bare-feet competitions (sweet but incredibly short-lived) Andrea finds the sex a little more rewarding this time. But she looked like she enjoyed herself more on yesterday's aeroplane ride with the chap-with-a-beard to be honest.
# Esas chicas tan pu... (Ignacio F. Iquino, Spain, 1982) (featuring Andrea Albani as Sol aged 22) ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭
More of the usual well-polished if unimaginative stuff from Iquino following Spanish girls adrift in a milieu of lesbian photographers and casual prostitution. Old chum Emma Quer turns up on Andrea's doorstep to ask her out on a lunch date followed by a back-to-her-place. Emma is the more mature and sophisticated of the girls. You can tell by the way she has her own car, and how when she needs something to wear she looks in the wardrobe first rather then scrabbling under the bed.
Yes Andrea is something of the sulky teenager type. When Emma starts dancing around without her pants on I'm sure I detected a sarky smile from the girl just short of actual eye-rolling. But not surprisingly she takes the path of least resistance and is soon being gently snogged on the sofa with her own knickers slipped expertly from around her ankles. Naked in bed she seems barely awake, but takes her turn at that simplest but loveliest of sex positions, the 'lesbian missionary'. And there's nothing like being woken in the morning by being dragged from under the sheets by a new girlfriend with your pyjamas flapping wide open. (It's embarrassing when you've turned nineteen and your mum's still doing it.)
The second clip hints at how Andrea opted for the lesbian lifestyle. Her slob of a boyfriend is completely unresponsive to even the most unequivocal methods of seduction. After working on him for much longer than strict courtesy demands she ends up slitching herself on the couch.
Finally there's more amused tolerance from gum-chewing Andrea when she prostitutes herself to a balding and bespectacled gentleman who is fascinated by her arm cast (she broke it catfighting in a dyke club - and I wish she wouldn't (the gum-chewing I mean)). She gives the chap a helpful tap on the pate when his glasses fall off and he's no longer getting value for money.
Biancaneve \u0026 Co... (Mario Bianchi, Italy, 1982) (as Priscilla aged 22)
Agítese antes de usarla (Mariano Ozores, Spain, 1983) (as Elisa aged 23)
El pico (Eloy de la Iglesia, Spain, 1983) (as Betty aged 23)
Victòria! La gran aventura d'un poble (Antoni Ribas, Spain, 1983) (aged 23)
# Las calientes orgías de una virgen (Antoni Verdaguer, Spain, 1983) (featuring Andrea Albani as Chica de la orgía aged 23) ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭
with Lynn Endersson, Jordi Batalla, Cathy Stewart, Antonio Sarrá, Rachel Ashley, Enrique Royo, Enric Cusí, Albert Dueso, Frank Silveira, Ana M. Moreno Rufo, Evaristo Villoria and Javier Bolinches
A cameo for Andrea in a porn film. But never mind the tacky surroundings, I'm going to pretend she's just the standard ingénue.
So Andrea is relaxing at the discotheque after a hard week on the checkouts at Morrisons. It's the first time she's been to any such place, but she knows what to do there because her mum lets her watch Top of the Pops. Her mum's that one sitting on the left; she's been topping up her rum and coke from a three litre plastic bottle hidden under her chair. Because that's what kind of a family they are.
Andrea finds someone to dance with. Don't worry, it's only a girl. A nice one too, looks a bit like Princess Diana. Considering her daughter in safe hands mum heads off to continue her conversation somewhere a little less noisy. A moment later the nice girl is all over Andrea, tugging down her knickers and 'licking her crack'. Honestly, sometimes I think mothers are wasted on the young...
Julieta (Alfonso Balcázar, Spain, 1983) (as Julieta aged 23)Mr. Skin may have clips: http://www.mrskin.com/julieta-girls-t12134.html
Victòria! 2: La disbauxa del 17 (Antoni Ribas, Spain, 1983) (aged 23)
La ingenua, la lesbiana y el travesti (Alfonso Balcázar, Spain, 1983) (as Virginia aged 23)
El marqués, la menor y el travesti (Alfonso Balcázar, Spain, 1983) (as Claudia aged 23)
Las viciosas y la menor (Alfonso Balcázar, Spain, 1983) (as Pris aged 23)
Teatre Descripció d'un paisatge (Josep Montanyès, 1983) (aged 23)
# No me toques el pito que me irrito (Ricard Reguant, Spain, 1983) (featuring Andrea Albani as Cati aged 23) ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭
This brief vignette is Andrea's contribution in its entirety to this inept Spanish comedy. Which naturally is one of the reasons it's so inept.
Anyway, good news for Andrea: it's the happiest day of her life. Yes, she's getting married. The bad news is that that's the end of the good news. He's twice her age and barely more than half her height. Oh, and she's about to die.
Retiring to the honeymoon hotel Andrea undresses in front of the bathroom mirror. A little awkwardly and altogether very chastely. Not that that's always a bad thing (even if it does bring back memories of visiting young nieces who seemingly never learnt to close a door).
Shortly after climbing into bed Andrea learns her husband's dirty little secret: a very large 'penis' apparently. She has to be whisked humorously to hospital where (chappie's swift re-marriage implies) she is dead on arrival.
# El hombre del pito mágico (Carlos Aured, Spain, 1983) (featuring Andrea Albani as Lucrecia aged 23) ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭
with Concha Valero, Josep Lluís Fonoll, Jordi Batalla, Ana M. Moreno Rufo, Julia Caballero, Olga Rodríguez and Patricia Cauzard
This banal Spanish trash depends on as deplorable a plot device as you're likely to meet: a special dog-whistle is a powerful aphrodisiac apparently. Never mind, at least the cinematographer knows his job and everyone comes out looking tanned and healthy.
Andrea plays a gawky ingénue scrubbed up and brought around to be presented to a balding fart (who presumably has money they want) by a lady who might be her mum but in light of later events is probably just a favourite auntie. The one moment of inspiration from the creative team has landed our little angel with glasses. Some of us are old school and don't consider a girl to be really 'wearing' glasses unless she looks like she's breaking them in for Deirdre Barlow; we are not disappointed. Unfortunately the guys must have thought they were 'on a roll' and have given her a hearing aid as well; not quite the same thing.
Creative incompetence reigns to the extent that the nominal star of the film is not even given a proper full-frontal nude scene. Actually my favourite scene of Andrea's is when she plays the piano wearing all of her clothes, no fancy X-ray tricks or anything (cf. Gamiani). But you know how it is when you're at a social gathering, and they practically beg you to play a little Chopin, and it's not two minutes before people start drifting off to find something better to do in the other room, and you're left sitting alone at the keyboard like a lemon? Think how much worse it must be in a porn film! Activities in the kitchen are particularly squalid.
Still, who could ever say no to two women kissing? Which is exactly what Andrea and this 'Auntie' character eventually start doing while ostensibly grooming each other in the bathroom. Afterwards, reverting to a more wholesome family role for a moment, Auntie pours Andrea a refreshing glass of water while still in the nude. Who else has dreamed of having an auntie like this? But things revert to type when she finds an excuse to take down the girl's pants and start biting the inside of her thighs. Well not exactly biting, but you do see tufts of Andrea's pubic hair, which on its own is nice.
Colegialas lesbianas y el placer de pervertir (Alfonso Balcázar, Spain, 1983) (as Lucía aged 23)
Héctor, el estigma del miedo (Carlos Pérez Ferré, Spain, 1984) (as Nuria aged 24)
El pico 2 (Eloy de la Iglesia, Spain, 1984) (as Betty aged 24)
Victòria! 3: El seny i la rauxa (Antoni Ribas, Spain, 1984) (aged 24)
Want more? Mr. Skin has a page for Andrea - click here for more of her pics & clips!
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